What's Really Going On?

So...where do I begin?

Well, as far back as I can remember I have been taught about the Lord and read my Bible.  Unfortunately for me, back then it was just following what I was told to do.  I had not been born again.  I didn't know Jesus for myself.  I was raised in COGIC.... that was what I knew.  We attended Sunday School and church every Sunday.  I taught my Sunday School classes and even did the review.  My parents did train me in the way that I should go, but I did depart from it the first chance I got.  Sometime around high school, I remember my parents telling us that we wouldn't be attending our church anymore and that we would begin having church at home.  "Great." I thought to myself.  People already thought of my family as different because we went to a holiness church and now they'll really think we're loony tunes if we have a "home church".  In hindsight, those were the most peaceful and purest expressions of worship I had ever experienced.  Fast forward about 15 years and my husband and I have reached same junction.  We are actually 3 weeks freed from the institutional church system now to be exact!  And I must say....this is the most scary, intense, lonely, fulfilling, exciting faith walk I've ever experienced in my few years of walking with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!  How did we end up here?!

Several years ago, while we were yet newly saved wet-behind-the-ear babes, we began noticing things that seemed...kinda off to us.  Things that didn't quite line up with the scriptures.  We would talk about it between the two of us once we would get home from church or fellowships, but we tried no to think too much about it.  Little by little, we noticed more and more.  We would hear tales of things that "...happened before you guys joined here." or "...problems that have been going on for years, but we just ignore it."  We would question other members about obvious blatant sin among the membership, doctrinal issues, and glaring character issues but it seemed par for the course to them.   So, along we went.  Faithfully serving in over 10 ministries in the church (in hindsight that was sheer lunacy), attend every service or die trying, faithfully paying tithes and offerings (many times to the neglect of our debts and bills), volunteering everywhere, not to mention our home life which consisted of homeschooling, family devotion, jobs, sick and unsaved family and friends who needed us, marriage (did I mention marriage?), kids and the list goes on!  We've experienced it all...members cursing around us in the church building, seeing liquor bottles on members car floors, pedophiles, rampant sexual sin among the members, manipulation, witchcraft, charlatans coming in with a "mighty word from Gawd!", leaders lying on us and about us, backstabbing friends, ministers making lewd comments about me and to me around my husband, intense demonic warfare, smelling weed smoke on the "saints", false manifestations of the Holy Ghost, etc etc etc.....I will stop there.  It drains me just to type all of that.

As our questions multiplied and often went unanswered, we continually sought the Lord as to what was really going on here.  The wonderful thing about studying the Bible, when you ask, seek and knock, Jesus will answer!  The question is, do we really want answers?  My observation is, as the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss. The Bible says in Hosea 4:6, "  My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children."  It also admonishes us to  "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."-2 Timothy 2:15.  When you begin to immerse yourself in the Word of God and read through a clean lens of "God, what would you have me to see here?  What are you saying to me? To my family?"  With sincere motives of truly just wanting to know Him...wanting to understand His Word...prepare to be blown away by the things God can reveal.    God began to literally rip the blinders off of my husband's eyes and mine as well, and what we saw was a horrible sight.  If you can relate to where we have been, breathe and keep praying.  Continue on with Jesus and fight the good fight.  If you haven't reached this place yet or have no clue what I'm talking about, pray that Jesus will reveal Himself and His true church...the ekklesia to you!  Examine yourself to be sure you are truly in the faith.  Study the scriptures to and seek God as to whether you are following Jesus of scripture of another Jesus....whether you believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ or if you have followed another gospel.  However, you must also pray that it will be well with you whatever it is that He directs you to do next, for we know His will is best.

As this blog progresses, I will share my experiences and lessons learned.  I will talk more about what this "horrible sight" is that I speak of.  Over time, I pray that I will adequately be able to share things that have helped me and things God has allowed me to understand and see.  Let's be clear, I am not a skilled writer or a master prophetess-apostle-teacher-five-fold-ministress!  I am merely a disciple of Yeshua, seeking to know Him!  If I can help somebody else to know Him along the way...to God be the glory!