- We left our "church"(I still need a better word) in September of last year.
- I have lost most if not ALL of my friends/acquaintances except a handful....literally a teeny remnant.
- We have been labeled as anti-Christs, crazy, etc....
- Some days are great....some are really rough.
- I know have a weekly fellowship with another sister in Christ which has proven to be a great blessing from God.
- I am finally beginning to feel healed and freer, yet I know God still has a lot to deprogram and detox out of my mind and spirit.
What can I say about this experience....To sum it all up...FAITH!
It takes faith to walk after God in the wilderness, outside the walls of the organized church and the herd of Churchianity. This has been a true test of our faith....like never before! I'm not talking about that Sunday morning "praise and testimony service I found $5 in my sofa cushions" faith...I'm talking about alone...with your thoughts...and a Bible, knowing that you heard clear instructions from God faith. Faith where everyone else thinks you've gone nuts...but you know what you heard God say for you to do. Faith where everyone deserts you because being your friend could do irreparable damage to their reputation. Faith where you try to explain and lovingly share the truth of God's Word with souls you care about and they stare at you as though you're a tyrannical lunatic.
I know the Bible to be true more than ever before, because it is being played out in real-time in MY life. When I speak of what God has done in my life, or in the lives of those in Scripture....it is not just words, but reality. Many times when I was still in the institutional church, I would hear different speakers and feel like something was missing. It was spirit and truth that were missing. There was no power behind their words because they were just empty words. Vain babblings. When Jesus spoke, people listened. He spoke what He knew, who He was, what was to come...and it was real. He was not giving fancy oratorical speeches...he was speaking truth.
This is a walk of faith, not sight. We can rely on God and His Word to guide us. I've realized how lacking I was in faith thinking that we really needed to be on time EVERY service, otherwise we would miss our assignments and directions from God. I thought that if we didn't submit to the Pastor and his vision, we would be cursed and all sorts of punishments would fall upon our household. I was really that faithless and delusional to believe that God would only speak to us through this one man...and if we thought that he was speaking to us, our Pastor would confirm it....if it was really God. I was completely walking by sight and not faith and the Lord allowed me to see I had given a man authority to usurp His place in my life and in my heart. I had to repent.
If anyone is reading this and this is where you are spiritually, I urge you to seek the truth for yourself while there is still time. A man who has been bought and paid for will never reveal the whole truth,being that money usually perverts the truth. Pick up your Bible, ask God to show you and be prepared for the undoing of all that you thought you once knew. For those who have already come into a greater revelation of the truth, stay the course. Don't grow weary or get discouraged. It can be VERY lonely and hard some days, but just one day...one hour alone with our God outside the chains or religion, makes it ALL worth it!
My experience has been similar. I walked away over 2 years ago and during the entire time, church goers keep quoting Hebrews 10:25 to me. Now that I read and study for myself, I understand what it means to assemble with others "in the body of Christ"...this does not mean go to church. So, I too walk alone; however, in Christ...alone, away from the noise and distraction is where you can truly hear from Him.
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